I apologize for the recent lack of poetry and thoughts, most of my creative energy has been going into songwriting.

The results of which can be found here: http://m.youtube.com/user/Dancerinwhite443

Solitude was my companion, my comrade, my only friend. 

Now, I wonder if there’s more to be discovered.

Given time, I think that I’d find something to believe in.

In my heart, I know my wars are won.

I was worshipping and picturing Jesus at school, and as my mind wandered along that track I saw Him behind me massaging my back and shoulders. As I watched I noticed that my skin looked like a deep colored wood. Jesus then showed me a series of short clips of him choosing the wood he would make me out of, marking the exact dimensions he would need for my size, carving me out carefully piece by piece, then sanding my edges and making me smooth all over. Then it went back to him rubbing my shoulders and back and arms, and I noticed that when he moved to each part he would dip his hands in this warm oil, and as he would rub it in to my body the wood would darken and harden and shine so beautifully. Jesus spent hours and hours doing this, he would leave it to soak in for a little while and then he would come back and go over me with this oil again and again.

I asked Jesus why, and he responded gently, as he was rubbing the oil into my arms and hands. He said, “Because you need to be saturated with my love and affection over and over again, I need to spend time on you and with you so that you never go dry, and you never lose your brilliant shine. I have to keep covering you with my oil and my anointing until it sinks in so deeply it reaches the very center of your heart.”

Blue eyes, you confuse the ever livin’ hell out of me.

Congradu-friggin-lations, you have complete monopoly on my affections, you pull every string.

I’m yours to build up and let down. Over again, and again.

My heart is completely bare to you and I have no control, have at it.

Because every look, every touch, every acknowledgement of my presence, every crooked grin, every heart-stopping moment sends me reeling.

Go for it. You’ve got me under your thumb.

I’m a raw nerve.

Slipping off my fingers, draining out of my heart. My movements slow and clumsy, my eyes lack their sight.
My energy is gone, you took it with you when you decided I wasn’t worth the wait.

I’m dating myself. I’ll take myself out for coffee, I’ll go to the bookstore with myself and laugh at how quirky I am, and I’ll tell myself how I’m beautiful and why I’m a wonderful person..

And tell myself it’s ok as I have a pity party and cry in the closet.

I’m done with guys. I’m so done.

The world seems so much wider with all these tiny new leaves.
The trees with their paintbrushes have a favorite color, it’s yellow.
Snip, twist, braid and fit.
Now the fairy has a crown, and all of the blossoms must do as she wishes.

Anonymous asked: Are you dating anyone?

No, I am not.. Unfortunately my luck with relationships is a bit tainted, and they never get very far.

Life without Kay
Is a boring day
No joy abounds
Without Kay’s sounds
Of singing and dancing
And laughing out loud
Or even when she shouts
This is my life without Kay
—Peter Keller

I just want to be worth the risk.

I just want to be worth fighting for.

Does anyone have the audacity to make me feel like I’m worth the pain, trouble, fear, anger, heartbreak, uncertainty, RISK.

And I wept like someone had murdered a puppy right in front of me, and then cried myself to sleep.
Oh the pain, his face. 
That poor, wonderful man..

Rev bomb.